Star Wars Or Something Like It
by Milli
Summary: My stupid little Gundam Wing Story.
1. Scene 1

Authors Note:

This inst a finished project and there's more than likely huge errors in the characters and grammar but if ya can ignore that you may actually find out that it is kind of funny. Or you could hate the piece of crap I don't know. It's up to you. so just give it a fair chance.

Scene 1: The Blockade runner

Trieze: *Walking in* Where is it?

Man1: We don't have it.

Trieze: *Grabs the man by the throat and crushes it* For god sake wills someone get me a napkin. *Thinking: "Why the hell did I ever sign that contact"*

Down the Corridor Relena was standing with a very displeased Wufei

Relena: HELP! WE NEED HELP! There that should do it *shoves the little diskette into Wufei*

Wufei: Why the hell do I have to be the little Robot! My legs are cramped in this little trash can thing. And um um..Line.

Man offstage: Beep, dumbass, Beep.

Wufei: *scowls* Beep* Wheels himself down the hallway thinking"After I'm done with this movie I'm going to kill the director, and the caster of this damn thing. I swear if anyone dumps any of there trash on me at lunch today I'm going to rip their arms off"*

While Wufei was doing that, Trieze and had found Reelena and they confronted each other.

Trieze: Nu-uh your wrong

Relena: Nu-uh your wrong

Trieze: Nu-uh your wrong

Relena: Nu-uh your wrong

Trieze: Nu-uh your wrong

Relena: Nu-uh your wrong

Trieze: But what if monkeys really could fly?

Reelena: What?

Trieze: Ha-ha you're confused now so I win. *Hand cuffs her and drags her off*

While back at the ranch....

Quatre: Look Wufei! IM MADE OF GOLD*Poses* With this costume I could be a superhero!

Wufei: Shut up

Quatre: Gold Man and you could be my side kick um um Trashcan. *Giggles*

Wufei: Damn it! *Thinking"Yet another person to add to my "to kill list". Wait I got it." He opens an escape pod* Come on Quatre get in.

Quatre: But I don't like closed spaces. 

Wufei:.......But there's bunnies maid of um Chocolate in there

Quatre: With magic rainbows and warm fuzzys?

Wufei: Um...Yeah! Now come on

Quatre: BUNNIES*leaps in* I don't see any bunnies.

Wufei: *getting out of his r2-d2 costume* Look Harder. *Grabs a pipe and grins as he gets in.*


	2. Scene 2

Scene 2: Bump...Bump...Bump Bump...

The pod came down with a bump.

Wufei: *walks out in Quatres C3-p0 costume. Slightly adjusting the helmet, which now had a dent in it. He tugs on a rope with the r2-d2 tied on the end of it*

Quatre: *falls out in the r2-d2 costume. Which looks like it had the top welded on so there was no way out. * Um Wufei I don't see any bunnies in here.

Wufei: Whose made of gold now?! *Kicks Quatre* Huh?!

Quatre: Im-Im sorry I mean beep! *Quivers* I don't like closed spaces*Cries*

Wufei: Which way to go? What do you think little Trashcan man?!

Quatre: *Still crying* Right! I don't know! *Cries more* I hate this movie!

Wufei: It doesn't matter what you think! Cuz your a trash can and because were going left! But first learn your friggin lines!*kicks him* I didn't hear any beep!

Quatre: I got your beep right here! BEEP YOU! YOU BEEPIN BEEP HOLE!

Wufei: *eyes widen* What did you say to me?!

Quatre: Um no-nothing I mean beep! *Quivers in fear*

Wufei: Disrespect! *Kicks him again but this time he trips in the process and falls. When he looks up he sees little thing with glowing eyes and gun* HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!  
Thing: *fires*


	3. Scene 3

Scene 3: SOLD!!

Wufei: *Screams as he slides down along tube and lands hard on the ground* What the hell is going on?!

All the other robots were being lined up to be bought. Down a few robots was Quatre fidgeting like a monkey on crack.

Milliardo: Ill take that yellow one.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!! I am no mans slave!*walks off but gets shocked and falls down on the ground*

Milliardo: *Smirks* 

Wufei:*glares* You dirty SOB!*Thinks "Oh man I cant wait tell this whole thing is done and over with. I'm going to enjoy seeing these people die!"*

Milliardo: And that blue trashcan thing.

Thing: *drags Quatre on a rope over to Milliardo*

Milliardo: Come on were going home *walks/drags them to his house*


	4. Scene 4

Scene 4: BUNNIES!

Milliardo: Damn you're welded in there pretty tight.

Quatre: *clearly traumatized* An-a-and he said there was bunnies in here too.

Milliardo: And I'm sure if he said there was bunnies in his pants you'd hop right in there too.

Quatre: *gasps* There is?! WHOO! * Hops around chanting* There's bunnies in his pants! There's bunnies in his pants *Trips and falls*

Milliardo: Wait tell I get this thing off.

Quatre: Ok. I really want to play with those bunnies so hurry up.

Milliardo: Um ok...*pries the head part open* There at least you can see.

Quatre: *pokes his head out* Thanks

Milliardo: Your welcome

Quatre: *wheels himself off outside where Wufei was* Can I see the bunnies*lays his head on Wufeis thigh* Pweeessse?

Wufei: *jumps back* WHAT THE HELL?!

Quatre: Come on Wufei. I know you were hiding the bunnies in your pants the whole time

Wufei: Get away from me you freak!  
Quatre: *Clings to Wufei* Your such a joker.

Wufei: *rips Quatre off his leg and runs away into the desert*

Quatre: YOU CAN'T ESCAPE ME! HAHAHA! I WILL GET MY BUNNIES! *Chases after him. *


	5. Scene 5

Scene 5: And then...

Wufei: *Runs into Trowa* Trowa! Thank God your here! 

Trowa: Good to see you Wufei.

Wufei: Listen! Quatre has gone insane and thinks that there are bunnies in my pants!

Trowa: *smirks*

Wufei: *Glare*  
Trowa: Ok. Ill try and talk some sense into him

Wufei: Thanks

Quatre: *Off in the distance* I WANT MY BUNNIES!!!

Trowa: SHUT UP! The sand people will hear you.

Wufei: *thinking "Just when I think I may have found another sane person he turns out to be crazy. God, if your there, do you enjoy surrounding me with these fools?" God, speaking in Wufei's head " Let me ask you this, who's stupider? The stupid guy or the guy that chose him as a friend?" Wufei "What the hell does that mean? I hate this metaphoric crap!" God " It means you gotta be pretty stupid to actually call these guys your friends!" Wufei "Shut your hole!" God "My my look who's going to hell...I think his name begins with a...Wu! Ends with a...fei!...Ever herd of him?" Wufei "Err I mean praise your holy highness for enlightening me. Hallelujah!" God "That's more like it." *

Quatre: *Eyes widen* You mean the Sandman that comes to sing you to sleep and kisses you on the check and gives you candy?

Trowa: No! Now shut up.

Sand person: AGGH!!!

Wufei: I think its about time to leave. *Runs off*

Trowa: Um.. Yep! *Runs off after Wufei*

Wufei: *Runs toward Quatre, grabs him and drags him behind him* Look what you did!

Trowa: *running behind him* Yeah. Next time I tell you to shut up you better do it or I'll blast you blasted brains out.

Quatre: I'm sorry Be-oww-ep! Ill do it next time ow Trowa Sir. OW! Wufei! This hurts!

Wufei: Shut up! It's your fault! And why the hell are you calling him sir! *Runs into Milliardo who was looking for them. Fall backwards* MOVE! That sand guy is following us! And tell your insane trash can buddy that there are NO BUNNIES IN MY PANTS!

Sand Person: *fires at Wufei* 

Wufei: AHHHHH! HE SHOT MY LEG!!!

Milliardo: *throws a rock at that sand whatever and scares him away*

Trowa: They'll be back. They don't give up that easily.

Wufei: DOES ANYONE CARE THAT I GOT SHOT!

Milliardo: Your right. Lets get back to my house.

Wufei: HELLO!!*cringes*

Trowa: My place is closer.

Wufei: UM MY LEG IS TURNING BLACK!!

Quatre: Um Wufei?

Wufei: WHAT THE HELL IS IT!!!*cringes again*

Quatre: I still want to see those bunnies.

Wufei: *near killing Quatre* THERE ARE NO BUNNIES IN MY PANTS. MY LEG IS DIEING AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR DAMN BUNNIES! I GOT NEWS FOR YOU THERE WAS NEVER ANY BUNNIES IN THE FIRST PLACE! IF YOU WANT TO SEE BUNNIES SO DAMN MUCH GO TO A ZOO!

Milliardo: *Touches Wufei's shoulder* damn dude calm down

Trowa: Yeah.


	6. Scene 6

Scene 6: Trowa's Pad

As they all walk into his house or "pad" Trowa hits a light switch and small disco ball drops from the ceiling. And the normal lights dim out and a spot light drops down and lights the bed as "Make out music" fills the room

Trowa: *Quickly runs over to the lights and flipped another light switch* Heh-heh wrong switch.

Quatre: Where'd all the cool music go. I know most of the words to those songs.

Milliardo: Damn Trowa you got the nicest house out of all of us.

Wufei: *Trips on the door frame and falls on Quatre* DAMN DOOR FRAME! IF YOU WEREN'T INANIMATE I'D KILL YOU!

Milliardo: Dude your leg its like almost dead.

Wufei: *Talking through his teeth* I was trying to tell you that for the last hour! But nooooo don't listen to me.

Quatre: *Relena's little disc slips out* Ohhies what's that?

Wufei: I don't know.

Milliardo: Gimme that.*grabs it*

Trowa: Hey that looks like a DVD. Go put it in the player.

Milliardo: Ok*walks over to Trowa's DVD player and pull out a DVD entitled "Passion Paradise" and holds it out to Trowa* My-o-my aren't we getting a bit frisky.

Trowa: HEY! Gimme that! *grabs it* That was a present.

Milliardo: Yeah sure and my grandma is an apple tree.

Trowa: I can think of another thing that your grandma is.

Milliardo: *Puts disc in the DVD player* Shut up *Watches*

TV: HELP US! WE NEED HELP! Our address is the planet Dantoeen. Now remember HELP! WE NEED HELP!

Trowa: Come on. Lets go.

Milliardo: Yeah. We may get some money

Quatre: Wow she's a pretty lady.

Wufei: DID YOU FORGET ABOUT MY LEG!

Trowa: *Uses the magical force power to heal it* Happy?

Wufei: Grand.


	7. Scene 7

Authors note: Incase you couldn't tell these are who all play who.

Milliardo: Luke

Relena: Leia

Heero: Hans Solo

Duo: Chewy

Trowa: Obi Wan Kenobi

Quatre: C3-P0..well actually now R2-D2

Wufei: Was R2 but became C3-P0 by means lead pipe and force

Disclaimer: You know the speech. I don't own either of GW or SW bla bla so don't so me.

Scene 7: Going to town

Trowa: Hey Milliardo catch*tosses Milliardo a light saber*

Milliardo: *Catches it* What's this? A beam saber?

Trowa: SHHH! Do you want to get a lawsuit? Remember we don't work for Gundam Wing anymore.

Milliardo: Oh yeah, We all got fired for the 50th episode where we got drunk and beat down random people on the street with sticks.

Trowa: Yeah *sighs* Those were some good times.

Quatre: Wufei?

Wufei: What is it Quatre?

Quatre: What if Tang was a pudding?

Wufei: What the hell kinda stupid question is that?

Quatre: Well I was thinking. I like tang and I like pudding so why don't they make an orange juice pudding. Yeah! And they could call it Pu-tang.

Wufei: *practically cokes and dies from laughter*

Quatre: HEY! What's so funny?

Wufei: Your retarded mind. 

Quatre: DON'T CALL ME RETARDED!

Wufei: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Quatre: SHUT UP YOU BIG YELLOW ...YELLOW GUY

Wufei: *thinks "I'm going to kill them all. I'm going to kill them all. I'm going to kill them all."* IM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!

Quatre: *slides to the corner* I didn't mean it.... Really I didn't

Milliardo: *looks back at them* BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!

Trowa: WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Milliardo: Huh? *Spins back in his seat and sees a giant rock coming at them and turns the land speeder but its too late and the back end of the land speeder hits the rock and sends everyone flying*

Quatre: WAHH!!!

Trowa: AHHH!!!!

Wufei: I hate you all...Oh yeah AHHHH!!!*Gets up after being thrown a few feet and goes over to Milliardo* GOD DAMN IT CAN YOU ANYTHING RIGHT. First of all you unweld that retard freak of nature over there*points to Quatre* And then I'm pretty sure you planted this strange idea about there being bunnies in my pants. WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME WITH HIS STUPIDITY! WHY?!!!

Quatre: Did someone say bunnies?

Wufei: And now I will extract my revenge! *Lifts Milliardo off the ground by the throat* DIE!!!

Milliardo: h..e...l..p...!

Quatre: *tackles Wufei* BUNNIES!

Trowa: *looks down at them and shrugs* DOG PILE! * Tackles all of them*

And so the good guys fought and beat the living shit out of each other. Not knowing that they had ended up in town and were fighting in the streets.


	8. Scene 8

Scene 8: When did they come to town?!

Duo: You guys done yet?

Milliardo: *Looks up and blinks*Duo what are you supposed to be?

Heero: He's Chewbacca and I'm Han Solo.

Duo: yeah and if I'm not wrong you need us to...

Trowa: *spies a Couple of young women at the corner of the street and walks over to them and in a deep manly voice* Hello Ladies

Mini-Scene A: How big is your Lightsaber?

Lady1: So how big is your Lightsaber mister Jedi man?

Lady2: If you got the cash we got the ass.

Trowa: I'm sure you do. *Runs back to Milliardo*

Mini-Scene B: The Script of FATE!

Duo: I'm pretty sure you need us to fly you to Dantuine*Pulls out a script* Yep.

Wufei: Where did you get one of them?

Duo: Stole it.

Wufei: *nudges Duo* Way to be.

Quatre: *gets up and looks at duo* BUNNY! *Flies toward him like a magnet and clings to Duo* I love you Bunny. How do you feel after you being released from Hell?

Wufei: *blinks* What do you mean by that?

Quatre: Say mister bunny how did you end up in Wufei's pants in the first place?

Wufei: THERE WAS NO BUNNIES IN MY PANTS!

Duo: *blinks*Wait.... Wufeis pants.... Bunnies.....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Wufei: *kicks Duo*

Duo: Agh! *Kicks Wufei. But trips over Quatre* AHHH! *Falls*

Heero: Just give me 50 credits so I can take you where you want to go and we can get on with this story

Mini- Scene C: Plots join up in. Plots split up.

Trowa: *Runs over to Milliardo* Quick give me some money.

Milliardo: Hold on*gives Heero the 50 credits. * Now what did you want?

Trowa: Man I needs some money. There are some fine young hotties over there and-

Milliardo: Sorry. I don't have anymore money.

Trowa: *all depressed* Fine lets go.

Mini Scene D: Quatre, the righteous warrior of bunny freedom.

Quatre: *rubs his head* Bunny that hurt....

Duo: Its Duo.

Quatre: K I gets ya's Bunny

Duo: Duo

Quatre: Bunny.

Duo: Right. *Evil Idea* Say ah Quatre?

Quatre: Yeah?

Duo: Can I ask you a favor?

Quatre: Sure*clings to him* Anything you want.

Duo: *slides Quatre off him* Can you help some of my friends. Cuz they weren't as lucky as I was. And they're still stuck in Hell. So I was wondering if you would-

Quatre: ILL FREE YOUR FREINDS HUSZAH! *Flying tackles Wufei and tries to unzip his pants. * FREEDOM! 

.... So anyways they got to the hanger and made it 75% to where ever they were going in the beginning. Its not like it matters they don't get there anyway. And surprisingly enough they haven't killed each other yet.


	9. Scene 9

Scene 9: The scripts true power!

We join our hero's who are just in the middle of a nice friendly game of chess.

Duo: QUATRE GET THE HELL OFF OF ME SO I CAN PLAY *pries Quatre off and moves his piece* 

Wufei: Damn it!

Duo: And that's the 14th time too. I think someone in the room sucks.

Wufei: After I get done with you, you'll be sucking a lot more.

Duo: *steps back* Dude...I didn't know you were like that! What the-

Quatre: *flys back at duo and clings like a magnet* I love you bunny. *Nudges with head*

Wufei: Well well look like we've got 2 love birds right here.

Duo: What?!

Wufei: You herd me fuzzy!

Quatre: His name is bunny! And I love him more than the whole wide world.

Wufei: ILL CALL HIM WHAT EVER I WANT!! 

Duo: Dude I'm really starting to think that you gay. 

Wufei: That's it!! YOU BOTH DIE!! NOW!!

Duo: BRING IT ON ROBOTO!!

Wufei: *tackles Duo and they start fighting*

Somehow in the mix of things Quatre had gotten hit on the head during this thing and decides to go hang out with Milliardo. Anyway Milliardo and the rest of them were up in the cockpit having an intelligent conversation.

Quatre: *opens the door and comes in*

Trowa: Anyway she had these fine as hell melons. I'm talking double D's. Danny Devito coming at ya! 

Quatre: What did she have?

Trowa: Uhh Fruit.

Quatre: I like Apples. 

Heero: And the point of that was?

Trowa: Hell if I know, ask the magic 8 ball.

Duo: *comes in* Hey! You guys were supposed to all look to the left in unison in a minute and Were supposed to find a planet then were supposed to drive our ship thing over there. 

Trowa: Why?

Duo: The script says we do.

Trowa: Oh.

Duo: Yep. Wait *Looks around* Damn it! Where the hell is Wufei?

Milliardo: I don't know.

Quatre: Were you guys fighting?

Duo: Yes Quatre we were. But that's earlier in the scene. I don't know where he went. This is all I can remember is this:

Duos memory

Duo: What?!

Wufei: You herd me fuzzy!

Quatre: His name is bunny! And I love him more than the whole wide world.

Wufei: ILL CALL HIM WHAT EVER I WANT! 

Duo: Dude I'm really starting to think that you gay. 

Wufei: Your right Duo I am.

Duo: Good Im glad you have come to terms with it. Lets go have a drink

Wufei: Ok

Duo: Thats what happened. *nod*

Wufei: *Transported into the room* What the hell?!

Duo: See I told you! The script has to happen. Whatever it says will be done. Kinda like a god. Cept in written form. And here comes the big left look in unison. *Looks left with the rest of them*

Quatre: Hey a planet!

Duo: Der! I coulda told ya that was going to happen.

Wufei: *slaps Heero across the back of the head* Drive us over there. That's what were paying you for.

Milliardo: Ok this is just getting weird.

Duo: Told ya. 


End file.
